I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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