i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
