the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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