i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
