Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
love makes seman taste better
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I'm always down for nudity.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
