Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
