Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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