it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
