Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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