Soap is not a condiment
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Randomize
