So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
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