Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
