i just wanna soil my oats bro
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
this boner is exhausting
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Randomize
