Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Randomize
