He uses pillows to masturbate.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
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