we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
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