Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
