i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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