I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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