My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
handjob tips. give me some.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
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