i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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