just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
