i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
