the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Is Oprah even human
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
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