It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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