I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Randomize
