I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
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