so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
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i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
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They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
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