you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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