I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
I think I am morally bankrupt
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize