dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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