It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I just cut my nipple shaving
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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