I need help removing her.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Randomize
