I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
