Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
