YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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