don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
