she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
