Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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