Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Randomize
