One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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