I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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