So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
You smell like stripper and shame
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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