shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
