M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Randomize
