If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize
