I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
