There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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