just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
