do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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