I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
The Olympian is in my bed
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
