Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
It's shark week go big or go home
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
