; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
from now on my penis is your penis
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.