my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
