I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
