is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Randomize