I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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