also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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