Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Randomize
