Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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